Hello lovelies!

It’s been a very long while. I’m sorry for the lack of blog posts, but if you’d like to stay tuned with all that’s happening in my life and for daily nuggets of health wisdom, please be sure to follow along on my @bespokebody Instagram page which is much more active!


As I write this, I am about to embark on a healing shamanic journey with plant medicine. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time. The stars have finally aligned – it’s New Moon tonight and I am on a break from film work. I couldn’t think of a better way to close off this year and set intentions for the festive season and 2019. This healing journey involves psilocybin mushrooms as a tool to crack the mind and heart wide open. It’s a possible stepping stone for me to exploring other plant medicines like ahaushka. I umm’ed and ahhhh’ed about sharing this experience with you guys, but I hope and believe that you are all open minded enough to read on and not jump to conclusions or judgements.

There’s no denying that plant medicine like marijuana, mushrooms, etc are the way of the future. They are going to go mainstream. In the next decade, someone doing a mushroom trip or ahaushka will be as commonplace as getting a prescription filled at the pharmacy.

Michael Pollan’s latest book, How to Change Your Mind chronicles his journey experimenting with psychedelics. Who is Michael Pollan? Is he some young, reckless hippie? Nope. He’s a middle aged family man, a world respected journalist, multiple best selling author, documentary maker and visionary thought leader. If he’s writing a book about psychedelics… well there’s no denying…

There are also millions of dollars being pushed into clinical research on the use of psychedelics and MDMA on depression, PTSD, anxiety, breaking addictions, OCD behaviour and a list of other modern maladies.

So why am I participating in this? Well, for the past few years I’ve been on a deep journey of self-discovery. I have done a lot of inner work and gone through massive development and growth… but there’s always more work to be done. I am hoping that this journey will help me break some lingering thought and behaviour patterns. I hope to heal any last wounds from my past. I am also excited to “see” other worlds; to be inspired; to maybe have a divine download…

I am nervous, but mostly really eager for this experience. No matter what happens, I hope to learn something and I am open to receive whatever the plant medicine shows me…


Wow! Wow! Wow! I’ve seen and done some things in my life, but my mind has been blown by this experience. I’m not going to walk you through everything minute by minute, because I don’t want to give too much away… also I think that everyone’s experience will be totally different, so I don’t want you to get caught up in the details of my take on the journey.

I feel like I’ve underdone years and years of therapy in one night. I feel lighter – like I’ve stripped away layers of bullshit that no longer serve me.

Forgive my fragmented recollection of this experience. It might not make much sense to you, because I want to keep some details to myself, but I also want to share some of my insights and take-aways which might inspire you to take a journey too…

The journey started off as a sort of past life regression for me – I saw suffering from long long ago… mine and other women’s pain. Very often we are carrying around wounds and baggage from past generations or many lifetime’s ago and we wonder why we feel in a funk…

I overcame these struggles and became a strong Lioness – I literally saw myself with the head of a lion. I came into my own POWER. I found the warrior woman within.

Then I dealt with some old wounds from my parents divorce. And I realised that they were both just doing the best that they could at the time in their lives. Forgiveness. I felt a surge of gratitude for both of them and all that they’ve done for and given me.

Throughout the first part of the journey I cried a lot. Silent tears streamed continuously down my face – my pillow was wet. It felt so good to just release.

I also realised that all the suffering that I’ve ever endured has happened FOR me, not TO me. Everything in my life leading up to this point, has made me stronger and ultimately has made me realise my true purpose… I am a healer and I am here to help other’s overcome their struggles, just as I have overcome mine.

There were lots of other powerful moments about realising and stepping into my power… I also had some beautiful moments solidifying my relationship with Chad and our readiness in taking next steps with our lives together.

The second half of my journey was more visual – literally mind blowing images that I saw… binary code being projected, wild animals, unicorns, rainbows, sacred geometry… There were moments of joy and uncontrollable laughter. More wonderful realisations about what really matters in life… My heart was literally cracked wide open with joy and wonder and gratitude.

I got to share this beautiful journey with my mom by my side. She too experienced a massive healing process. She said that she felt 10 years younger! 🙂

There were about 8 other people (young, old from all different backgrounds) at the journey and the next morning we had to share our experiences as part of the debriefing process. People do these plant medicine journeys for many different reasons: depression, breaking addictions, healing PTSD, spiritual enlightenment, understanding one’s self better… so many reasons. So not everyone in the group had super profound journeys… some just had fun… some connected to the energy of the universe and some even connected with other beings.

During my journey, a phrase kept on being repeated to me: this is the medicine. This is the medicine. This is the medicine.


If you have an ounce of curiosity about exploring plant medicine or for healing a number of maladies, I urge you to get in touch and I’ll share my shaman’s contact details with you. I know that people are doing these trips in clinical environments now, but there’s something very special about participating in a sacred ceremony led by a qualified and experienced shaman. It was a deeply spiritual experience for me.

For those of you that are not so open to or may even be quite judgemental about this experience, I urge you to ask yourself why. Plant medicine has been around for a lot longer than modern medicine. The risks and side effects are much lower than most modern medicine. The stigma about psychedelics is going to start fading as more and more evidence on their efficacy as a healing modality are revealed. Legalization is coming.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this subject whether you’re for or against!

If you have any questions please don’t hesitate…

Wishing you all a very healthy, happy and relaxed (as much as possible) festive season ahead. Stay present. Take care of yourself. Lead with love.