Yesterday I went for my first colonic hydrotherapy treatment. It’s something that I’ve always wondered about and wanted to try, but never got around to. I’m going to talk about digestion and excrement in this post. You have been warned. Although, I don’t even know why I should need to warn you. Everyone poops. Get over it.

So, talking about poo. My digestion has always been very strong. I usually have between 1 and 3 bowel movements a day and I have rarely experienced constipation in my life. (Mostly only when travelling.)  My bowels are much more inclined to be loose. This is partially down to my strong Pitta (Ayurvedic dosha) digestive fire and the amount of liquid foods that I consume (smoothies and soups a plenty!). I’m also naughty and eat very spicy food quite often –  as a Pitta I should be sticking to “cooling foods” … but also, can I just live?!

As you probably know by now, my  health is really good. I eat very well, exercise regularly, meditate, use natural skincare and supplement my diet with lots of magical superfoods and herbs. Most days I have tons of energy; my skin is usually clear and I rarely get sick. So why did I want to go for a colonic hydrotherapy treatment if I was so happy and healthy?

Firstly, I always like to try things out myself before recommending them to clients. I also believe that health is a journey, not a destination, so I am always looking for tools and tricks to take my wellbeing to the next level. The main reason was that I had this sneaking suspicion that I was carrying some parasite/s and that I was sometimes getting bloated for no apparent reason.

In the last few months, colonic hydrotherapy was popping up all over my social media conscience. I heard people talking about it on a couple of podcasts and then finally my mom spoke about possibly doing it. When things show up and show up all over the place, I think you should take the hint!

My mom had been referred to a therapist who works from home, but is one of the few practitioners in Cape Town to have the very best colonic hydrotherapy machine (forgot to ask the name!), as well as an Ozone machine and some other fancy equipment. (Again, forgot to ask the name! Sorry.)

My therapist, Denise, is the loveliest lady who made my feel so at ease from the moment we met. She usually works with very ill cancer patients. She had cancer 13 years ago, cured herself and is passionate about helping others recover too. She really lives her purpose and isn’t in this for the money, so she doesn’t even advertise her services. (That’s why you won’t find a link to her in this article. But you can message me for her details privately if you’re in Cape Town.)

Upon arrival, Denise gave me a form to fill in, we discussed why I was there and my general health and digestion. I chose to have an infusion treatment, which means she infused my colon with moringa powder and slippery elm during the session. Slippery elm is great for rebuilding and sealing the colon wall. Moringa is chok full of minerals and vitamins, which nourish the gut and liver. After showing me the equipment and letting me change into a gown, we got down to business… The business of sticking a pipe into my rectum that is. It’s not that bad though… The more you relax, the easier it is. She then felt my abdomen and could immediately tell that there was some kind of obstruction/blockage in my small intestine.

The treatment begins with her slowly pumping some water into the colon and then you release it back on the pipe. With her fancy machine, you can see exactly what is coming out of your intestines.

We flushed and flushed and she manipulated my abdomen and still only tiny little flecks were coming out. I was also full of gas she said, which might have been from the chickpeas that I’d eaten earlier. (Normally I soak and cook my chickpeas and other grains/legumes really well and have no discomfort, but I cheated and used a tin of chickpeas. Oops.)

Denise chats to you the whole time and anytime you feel like you need to go to the toilet, you can just tell her. After about an hour of nothing really happening, she removed the pipe and made me sit on the toilet to see if anything would happen. I just peed and released a lot of gas. Then we inserted the tube again and finally the obstruction was released from my small intestine. It’s really satisfying seeing your stuck shit whoosh out of you in a tube. There was some hard fecal matter with parasites attached to it and a few small gallstones! Woo hoo, get those critters out!

Denise worked on me for about an hour and forty minutes and she said I did really well for my first session. It’s quite a workout for your colon!

She sent me home with two servings of imported medical grade magnesium oxygen powder, which I had to take in order to further flush out my small intestine. No more nasty obstructions!

When there are blockages in the small intestine, that’s when only liquids can get past – another reason for my sometimes upset stomachs.

I went home and spent most of the evening, during the night and this morning pissing from my asshole 🙂 Good times. I have to take the second dose next weekend and then I should have a squeaky clean and healthy digestive tract! To be honest, today I am feeling pretty depleted, but I’m sure that’s just from last night’s disrupted sleep and possibly mild dehydration (which I am supplementing right now!)

My greatest take away from yesterday and one that Denise said I should stress to EVERYONE – Cut Out Corn! She says even when it’s labled “non-GMO” or “Organic” it’s no good – our bodies can’t digest it. My heart broke a little when she told me that popcorn was the absolute worst – the little kernels actually get stuck in the curves of the small intestine’s walls and can cause massive obstructions over time – so bad that you’d have to have colon surgery. No thanks. I had actually eaten quite a lot of popcorn last week, so that explained my excess gas and digestive upset. She also said that soy and canola oil are massive no-no’s, but I knew that already. I was just in total denial about corn being bad. Bye bye nachos; bye bye tacos. I’d rather have a happy, healthy gut than eat things that bring fleeting satisfaction and then cause all sorts of nastiness in the body. There are so many alternatives these days, you really don’t have to feel deprived. I’m going to have to get really creative when I go to the cinema though!

Here are some recommendations if you’d like to try a colonic hydrotherapy treatment:

• Colonics (like juice cleanses)should NOT be used as a quick-fix weight-loss tool! Don’t be stupid.

 

• You should NOT eat a lot of animal products, drink alcohol or caffeine for a few days before and after your treatment. Keep your meals really clean and simple.

 

• Do NOT eat at least 2 hours before your treatment, so that your body isn’t still trying to digest food during your treatment.

 

• Make sure you have some time the day of or after your treatment to be near a toilet for your magnesium oxygen flush.

 

• Double up on your probiotics and cultured foods and drinks after the treatment – your colon has just been completely flushed – that means you’ve lost a lot of good bacteria too. Replenish!!!

 

• After your treatment you should have a light broth with maybe some steamed vegetables. Bone broth is full of gelatine and collagen which heal the gut wall.

 

• Avoid eating raw vegetables and meat for a few days after treatment, as these are very hard on the digestive tract.

 

• Make sure that you add some minerals to your water or broth, so that you don’t suffer from an electrolyte imbalance. I added lots of Himalayan salt to my broth and took a NUUN electrolyte tablet this morning. I’ve also been sipping on some kefir water all day.

For general health, Denise recommends doing treatments either twice a year or with the change of each season.

As always, please consult with your health care practitioner before trying a new treatment. If you have any serious illnesses or digestive upset you should definitely check with your doctor before booking a colonic!

There are many Western doctors that argue that colonics are unnecessary and harmful. I think the proof is always in the pudding. I’ve heard many miracle stories of people’s acne disappearing, cancer being cured and just having more energy and a happier digestive system. So, the jury is still out… I will let you know how I am feeling a few days, weeks and months from now and if I think it’s worth doing again. *** (See Update below)

I hope you enjoyed reading about my poo as much as I did. K bye!

*** It’s been nearly 2 months since my treatment and I am so happy that I did it. It did take a while for my digestion and microbiome to stabilize after the colonic and subsequent magnesium oxygen flushes, but after about 3 weeks I was feeling much better. My digestive system feels like it has had a proper reset and I feel much more in touch with how my food is being assimilated and evacuated. My skin looks and feels better and I feel like I have more energy. I think colonics are going to become a staple tool in my holistic self-care practice, but only 2-4 times a year with the change of seasons.

xoxo